Love the guys and girls in it…too bad they’re too famous :P

…I wonder if I have a chance at being famous. And not for the wrong reasons. Or in the wrong ways (ahem fail YouTube famous ness for some people out there like Rebecca Black)

Senior Prom
Grad Night
Graduation
Homecoming
Rallies
IDC Exchanges
Senior Meetings
Clubs
Hanging Out with friends

Things I missed in life
ASB
Class Officership
Executive Council
Legislative Council
Link Crew
Dances
Proms

Sports opportunities
Marching Band/Band for all 4 years
Color guard/winter guard
Winter percussion

Speech&Debate? (nah)
Model UN
Dance Team/Cheer

Yearbook
Newspaper (Epic)
Vertigo Literary Mag(although no one really reads it)
Aletheia
Awards for anything

You know, it is always the same people, the same group that gets all the credit and all the leadership positions.

I barely got any leadership roles :(

And it’s not like a 4.0 and a 2400 pop out when you want it to. I was also planning on doing the SAT II’s in Biology (Cellular and Molecular) and Japanese Reading and Listening. And take as many AP’s as possible, including Japanese AP. but I guess everything is just too good to be true for me.

I am liking health posts and dessert posts at the same time. I am odd.

I was just looking at some old tryout emails…am I really that bad at sports that I can’t get into any teams that cut players out?
What have I done with my life.

Who am I? I gave enough information…

All the recent events going on are just stressing me out. Like the MBC Korean Wave in Google that will be happening nearby. And then all the senior events and everyone posting about college. Prom, graduation, grad night, people changing everything about themselves like getting piercings/tattoos/coloring their hair. It’s becoming too much for me to handle and I think I really need a break from all this.
I also feel that everyone is avoiding me and ignoring me. And people just talk about how much fun they’re having on FB and none of it makes me feel any better.
If I were to post this on my normal blog which people from school follow, I would be really nervous about the response I would get. I have gotten responses about things from a popular kid and it made me feel very insecure about sharing my feelings. So that is why I’m posting here.
I also feel that this having no friends thing isn’t working. I always have friend troubles so I decided to be alone or with my family. However, when I would like to do something, like go to the movies, I can’t do it alone because my parents won’t let me. I would like to go see the avengers but I can’t go alone and I am having trouble finding people to go with.
Sure, I can be very friendly, but I also have some trust issues and I’m definitely terrible at keeping friendships since I have lost most of them. Always a problem for me! :/

I wish I could just disappear now.

Homeopathy doctor suggested I pay attention to my dreams…highly suggested writing them down.

I never really paid attention to my dreams interpretation-wise, but after I was given a bit of understanding, I get them a bit now!

So the other night, I had a dream that the marching band and I kept bumping into each other on the street as they paraded down. I was having mixed feelings. I kept following them and I don’t know why. Daniel sees me following stealthily/lagging behind and opts to help/assist me. Smiles on both faces. Happy. Then I don’t know what happens, but I guess we become friends and I invite him over to my house. For some reason, his friend comes over and pretty much takes Daniel’s attention away…and then D pretty much ignores me and they both leave.

I realize this is sort of how I feel about things, about Daniel I suppose.

I also had a few other dreams but I just had a brainfart so I can’t remember. Gotta go shower!!

Oh and last update, D/C broke up like a month after they got together. Very short lived. I can’t believe how much it affected me. lol.

D has kind of turned into an idiot/attention seeking person…i guess he realizes his mistakes. Oh well. He has college ahead of him and percussion stuff to be busy with. He has no time to mope around. Oh but how amazing it would be if he actually noticed me one day. It would be like a fairy tale <3

Might as well drop out of high school and commit suicide while everyone else makes it into UCS and big private universities and ivy leagues.

Damn carrina y u such a bitch. And still u get the best of the world. And damn your whole group of friends.
Did u kno you got autocorrected into cartons and carrion?